Introduction-Advice to all Muslim women
This topic is for the believers especially the women, because women are the glue of a household. A woman’s task is not easy, because even in today’s day and age most of the burden required to run a household rests on their shoulders.
Seest thou not how Allah sets forth a parable? – A goodly word like a goodly tree, whose root is firmly fixed, and its branches (reach) to the heavens,- of its Lord. So Allah sets forth parables for men, in order that they may receive admonition. 014:024
It brings forth its fruit at all times, by the leave of its Lord. So Allah sets forth parables for men, in order that they may receive admonition. 014.025.
Allah (swt) sets forth these parables for men and women in order that they may receive admonition. If we follow these examples then we are traveling in the right direction. The free will that was given to us by Allah (swt) can cause us to commit sins, which are the Shaitaan’s (devil) formula and which will lead us right into his path. This is because his formula is a type of alcohol, and is ten times stronger than the alcohol of this world, as we observe the pain and the grief that intoxication can cause in a household, in relationships, or even car accidents we realize how destructive the addiction to alcohol can be. Many of us do not drink alcohol, or do not eat unlawful foods, but yet our actions are worse than those who drink alcohol, because we do other things that are negative such as: engaging in fraud, back-biting, lying, stealing, committing injustice, being selfish, and greedy.
These things can be considered the Shaitaan’s alcohol. The addiction from taking the Shaitaan’s formula is ten times worse than the addiction that results in taking man – made alcohol. Here are some ingredients that make up Shaitaan’s alcohol: Seduction, being seductive, insidious and more. If unfortunately we happen to choose one of these ingredients to engage in, it will lead us to misery. We as parents have to set good examples in our homes. If our actions are good, then our children will follow in our footsteps, unless they become betrayed by the devil (which I will elaborate on later). By God’s will I will begin my topic with the introduction of four pious ladies who are our spiritual mothers, and three evil ladies who are also our spiritual mothers. Depending on who we choose to follow, we will receive the subsequent reward.
Allah sets forth, for an example to the Unbelievers, the wife of Noah and the wife of Lut: they were (respectively) under two of our righteous servants, but they were false to their (husbands), and they profited nothing before Allah on their account, but were told: “Enter ye the Fire along with (others) that enter!” 066:010
Even though these ladies husbands were righteous they did not profit from association with their husbands, instead they were told “Enter ye the fire along with others that enter!”
Now on the opposite end of the coin Allah (God) Almighty sets forth examples of four honorable women to the believers, the first one is Pharaoh’s wife.
Traditionally she is known as Asiya. For all the negative qualities that Pharaoh possessed (arrogance and wickedness) it was a great spiritual triumph for his wife to have preserved her faith, humility, and spiritual righteousness. The other three righteous women were: Mary (the mother of Jesus owbp, Khadija (the wife of the Prophet Muhammad owbp, and Fatima (the daughter of Prophet Muhammad (owbp). Let’s move on to look at the wife of Lahab.
In the Holy Qur’an Sura Masadd v.4 & 5, speaks of how Lahab’s wife assumed the lowly position of a firewood carrier,
His wife shall carry the (crackling) wood – As fuel!- (111:004), but she will incur a twisted rope of palm – leaf fiber around her own neck. A twisted rope of palm-leaf fibre round her (own) neck! 111:005
Why is this? She used to tie a bundle of thorns with ropes of twisted palm leaf fibers, and she would carry them about dark nights in the path which the Holy Prophet(owbp) was expected to take in order to cause him injury. Little did she know she was only preparing the fire of hell for herself.
My dear sisters envy and hatred as we have learned from Lahab’s wife has no stable foundation. It can come from one of the Shaitaan’s formula which we spoke of earlier, and since we have such a huge responsibility (being a wife and mother) we have to be firm in our patience, faith and understanding. It is only then that we will be blessed with a spiritual insight to make our household stand on a very strong foundation. Some advices that will help achieve these three tools (as mentioned above) are found in God Almighty’s formula, they are: kindness, honesty, being trustworthy, being humble, and just. It is important to know that when we choose anything from Allah’s (swt) (God’s) formula we will have to pay a small price, because we have to go through the subsequent trials, and tribulations, this is because the price for Janaat (paradise) is very expensive, while the price for hell is free.
We can achieve these tools by making room in our hearts for love, faith and trust in Allah Almighty. We must adopt the habit of loving all of his creations including his Prophets, and his Angels. We must also love and respect the Holy Qur’an, the Bible (the old testament) and the Torah. We must not keep company with the hypocrites as this leads to the Shaitaan’s formula, since their conduct is very weak and unstable. They deprive themselves of Allah Almighty’s grace and his mercy, and as such they are left straying from the righteous path. As the saying goes show me your companions and I will tell you who you are. Follow the people’s advice who can lead you to peace and unity. Ignore the people’s advice that leads you to anger and frustration for it is the Shaitaan’s assault. The good advice will lead one to being steadfast in their faith, which will bring peace and tranquility in your home and in your life.
My dear sisters, let us do our best to follow into the footsteps of our four righteous mothers as mentioned earlier. Let us try our best to drive away the devil (as our righteous mothers did) when he tries to enter into our hearts. Our hearts are the topsoil for our body, and whatever seeds we decide to plant on it is what we will reap.
If we plant hatred in our hearts, then it is what we shall reap. If we plant righteousness then it will be beneficial for us in this world and in the hereafter.
If we have to plant a beautiful garden we will make sure to look for the best types of fruits to plant, or the most beautiful flowers. Let us beautify our hearts with kindness, and in return Allah Almighty’s mercy and his light will not cause us to live in darkness.
We would never choose to plant an unpleasant smelling plant or a fruit that we did not like, or that is potentially harmful. So when the whisper of the devil comes to our minds we must treat it right away with a small prayer. Before I give this prayer let me explain how the devil’s whisper works. This will be done by referring back to the metaphor of the garden. If insects got into our garden we would hurry and get some sort of spray to protect our garden from the potential damage that the insects would cause. Just like the protection we would seek from the insects this small Du’a (prayer) from Sura Al-Mumenoon v. 97 & 98, will Insha-Allah (God willing) help to keep the devil away from our hearts:
Oh Allah I seek refuge with thee from Shaitaan the cursed: And say “O my Lord! I seek refuge with Thee from the suggestions of the Evil Ones. 023: 097
“And I seek refuge with Thee O my Lord! lest they should come near me.” (or hurt me and my family) Ameen. 023:098
How do we deal with evil/ negative people?
O ye who believe! When ye meet a force, be firm, and call Allah (God) in remembrance much (and often); that ye may prosper: 008:045
And obey Allah (God) and His Messenger; and fall into no disputes, lest ye lose heart and your power depart; and be patient and persevering: For Allah is with those who patiently persevere: 008:046
And be not like those who started from their homes insolently and to be seen of men, and to hinder (men) from the path of Allah: For Allah compasseth round about all that they do. 008:047
Here Evil or negative people are the bait of the Shaitaan, and therefore we should try our best to ignore them. If people speak evil of us whether it is done in our presence, or behind our backs, or they engage in evil (witchcraft) to hurt us Allah (swt) sees it all. It is not for us to take the matters into our own hands to hurt, or punish these people. Our best course of action is to seek help from Allah (swt) and in return not to engage in evil. Remember two wrongs do not make a right. Shaitaan makes things that are wrong seem pleasurable for those people who are weak in their faith. Let us pay heed to Allah’s (swt) warnings in the Holy Qur’an:
Remember Satan made their (sinful) acts seem alluring to them, and said: “No one among men can overcome you this day, while I am near to you”: But when the two forces came in sight of each other, he turned on his heels, and said: “Lo! I am clear of you; lo! I see what ye see not; Lo! I fear Allah: for Allah is strict in punishment.” 008:048.