A mother cries out in pain and in grief for some help after her child is very insultive and disobedient to her, simply because she is in several years of conflict with her own parents and her siblings, her child looks at her as she is the quarrelsome one, when she is only the innocent one in this family feud; she is blasphemed and ridiculed over and over, she bears and she forbears, she is always in conflict with her child because of the child disrespectfulness towards her and due to this her child feels that she is not better then her parents and her siblings. After several years of constantly fighting with her child to see the truth, she is now giving up and moving away from her child, she does not want her child to sin any more; she wants some answers from the Holy Qur’an, and wants to know a few things.
- What the Holy Qur’an says for parents (mothers) who are pure in the sight of Allah (swt) and they are blasphemed several times wrongfully by their own child? Also why my child is seeing my parents and siblings actions in me? These are two very important questions. The most serious notice is taken of people who put forward slanders about women without adequate evidence.
I would let the Holy Qur’an answer this question.
And those who launch a charge against chaste women, and produce not four witnesses (to support their allegations), – flog them with eighty stripes; and reject their evidence ever after: for such men are wicked transgressors; 24:4.
See also chapter 24 verses 5, 6, 12,15,16,17, 18, 19, 21.
Everything that happens to us and makes up our personality is a means of our testing. So is our faith; we shall have to put up for it many insults sometimes by our own flesh and blood, and those who do not share in it. Quote chapter 3 verse 186. Allah Almighty says in this verse that He will tried us and then He will test us in our possessions (such as our wealth and our children etc) and then in our personal selves and we would hear much insults and ridicule that would grieve our hearts. This is the bed of roses for a firm believer life on this earth; but they have faith, humility and hope for salvation. Their suffering and their grief would show a certain attitude of their minds which their own children would not understand until he or she becomes pious and falls into their parents shoes.
Shaitan would not leave a firm believer alone, he would be glued to them, never the less.
In all their actions they have patience, steadfastness and self restraint in their Lord, but Shaitan would make all of this goodness seems the opposite to their child. They are true and sincere in all their dealings as they are true and sincere in their words and their promises. They act with inspiration and true guidance from their Lord, regardless of how they choose to use their inspiration to survive the Shaitan attack from their children or child, Their self discipline is so great that all they do is humbly approached their Lord in pain, grief and in sorrow and this Shaitan would used against them to harden their child or children mind against them, that’s where a mother tears supposed to melt a child’s heart, it becomes a poisonous weapon for them instead. As they say tears melt human hearts not animals.
My personal advice for parents who are always in conflict with their own parents and siblings they should move very far away in a peaceful way from them because this feud would cause terrible grief on the innocent children, who have to see their parents constantly crying and constantly grieving .The pain on the child’s heart would become over bearing and where it would turn that child into a avery rebellious and aggressive person ,and all that child could see when this happens is the innocent parents, they used to grieve so much for as the wrong ones, as the evil ones, as the quarrel some ones, and as the foolish ones. The child would lash out in haste and in hate, the child would not want to pray after he or she get into the rage where he or she inflict some pain on the parents or parent because they would have so much remorse and that remorse would stop them from praying for 2 reasons.
- They would not understand how they can hurt the people that they love so much.
- They feel that their prayers are not answered, Allah (swt) is not listening to their prayers, so through their remorse they can easily turn away from Allah Almighty and become rebellious towards Him as well, before all of this happens the believers that are the victims of war and conflict with their loved ones especially with parents they should take the pattern as our Beloved Holy Prophet Abraham (pbuh) with his father in conflict.
See chapter 19 verses 41, 44, 46, 47, 48. Prophet Abraham left the home of his father with a promise that he would pray for the father and he left wishing the father peace. Many spiritual lessons are to be grasped from all of our Prophets lives and the way they handled themselves in conflict. Abraham pleaded with loving earnestness with his father to accept the truth of Allah Almighty, he was turned out but he retained his gentleness as a loving son and he was blessed. Moses asked for the aid of his brother Aaron and was true to his people. Chapter 19 verse 51-53. Ismail was loyal to his father and to Allah (swt) verses 54-55. Edris in his highest station held fast to truth and integrity. Verses 56, 57, 58. If parents do not take steps to detour themselves from wrongly attack of conflict, then they would suffer terrible, because children would lead up to the Shaitan formula. See detour ones child from the Shaitan path.
In regards to question 2: Why the child can only see her mother as the same quarrelsome person like her grandmother? Well it could be for several reasons and it all depends on what information the child is feeding on, to brain wash her against her mother. When children are brain washed falsely against their loved ones from their aunt or uncle or cousins and their grandparents, it is heart breaking for the innocent child and their parents who have to deal with such a child, all the child would see is what her brains are feeding on against the innocent mother. Children get very impatient of the evil, they see around them whenever a quarrel or fighting or back biting against their innocent parents who are God fearing people, these parents who may give their best service of kindness and sacrifices where they would short them selves of things and put their child’s needs first and yet these impatient children would turn seriously against them (their god fearing parents) this is the fire of temptation which every believer must pass through in their life, test, trial and tribulation.
For peace sake we must move away from ignorance but we must do so with love and care in our hearts to pray for betterment for our loved ones, only then would we achieve the full benefits from the word peace, since its meaning has much wider significance. It includes:
- A sense of security and permanence which is unknown in this life:
- Soundness, freedom from any jarring element, all of these shades of meaning are also implied in the word Islam. Evil must be repelled by actions of peace and goodness. Parents that are struggling for several years to bring their children out from the depth of darkness into the light and on the right path of life’s conduct spiritually materially and physically they are aught to move peacefully away and love them still but pray more, do not give up praying for them as the Prophets (pbut) who was a guide and example amongst us (mankind) so we, who are their followers (Muslims) ought to be exemplars among mankind and the best witness to God Almighty truth are those who show its light in their lives conduct. True faith, love and peace leads to humility.
Children are easily betrayed with wrong information toward their parents, and wrong doings breed through jealously and spite, and whoever are following this pattern in their life’s conduct, they cannot call themselves a believer, they would have to suffer through jealously, spite and hatred, but Allah (swt) would clear the children from the evil stain that inflicted on them through these evil weapons: Through their parents love and prayers for them and also through their own prayers and their great love for their parents as well. Ameen
Comments are closed.